Change my heart, oh God

Some days just feel like writing days. The peacefulness of the house, the way the presence of God seems to hover in a way that makes me soul feel full of life and yearning,  the way the shadows fall on the snow, the subtle movement of the wind through the empty branches…they all whisper their truths to me and flick the first in an endless line of dominoes. Each trail that my thoughts take seem to lead back to people. How to love them. How to be loved so that I can love them. How to honor, respect, celebrate and cherish every soul. I’ve come to realize that I’ve seen growth in this area in leaps and bounds and just as I’m about to breathe a sigh of relief – it hits me. There is one vital area where my growth has been painfully slow and it is perhaps the most important in the big picture. My love toward to husband. The backspace button is calling my name right now, but I feel this vulnerability is important, so I’ll press on.  Please don’t misunderstand, I have never been more in love with my husband. He is the kind of man that daydreams are made of…I would list the things that I adore about him, but my fingers would certainly grow weary before my list was complete. And yet as look back on each hour, each day, month, year – I can’t help but feel the terrible pain of regret as I see so many of my failures. I need to take my heart to the safest place I know, the foot of the throne, and allow the King to gently show me how to love like He does. How to let sparks of divine love shower my marriage. My heat stirs as I think about the joy of seeing the fire of God fall on the sacrifice of sincere love. 
Change my heart, oh God

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“I will run the course of Your commandments,
For You shall enlarge my heart.”

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